Our Tragic Second Honeymoon

I was married for twenty years, twenty-one years ago we were enjoying a second honeymoon. Mary Jo sold television commercials for the local cable company and had earned, not won, a five-day cruise. We both anticipated this vacation like kids waiting to open their Christmas presents. Sunday finally arrived, we flew out of Pittsburgh, into Florida. Mary Jo was holding my arm with her head on my shoulder with folded hands, she had never flown and was scared. The ship set sail for Nassau and stopped at a small island where we looked at the local vendors' merchandise. Strangely, the last item Mary Jo ever purchased was a cross. On Monday we exercised, walked around the ship, went swimming and sun-bathed. We both dressed up for Captains Dinner, I had on a suit and M.J. was dressed in a black sequined gown. She looked beautifully eloquent. Stunning would be the word. After dinner, we watched a musical production. Next, we had our pictures taken, the last picture her hand is on my heart. We walked into the dance club and ordered champagne. She’d only drink alcohol on special occasions, I’d drink a twelve pack without batting an eyelash. We danced, sat down and tipped glasses.This night was magical and much better than any New Year's Eve. It’s 10:30, I’m looking at the dance floor. She died. Her leg had been unusually painful, the compression and decompression of the aircraft caused a blood clot to literally explode her heart. I watched her stomach enormously expand and fluid shot out of her mouth flying across the dance floor. I was 48, Mary Jo was 43. We have three children, Tracy was just starting optometry college, Tara was a senior in high school and Travis was in eighth grade. Horror, nightmare, and mental collapse partially describe how I felt, not fully.

I entered a state of unbelievable dis-belief, the mind was having a horrible time comprehending what It was witnessing. Everything went surreal, time was strange, and I was having difficulty understanding what the doctor was asking.  “Was she on drugs?” What? No.”” Are you on drugs?”” No.”” Did she ever do drugs?””’ No.”” Did she have any medical conditions?”” No.”” How old was she?” My mind was on overload, and I couldn’t exactly remember, so I muttered,”Early forties.” 

He gave me a strong sleeping agent and a nerve pill. I still can’t recall leaving the dance floor or anything after talking to the doctor. Evidently, I talked with the ship's captain. I woke up in an empty cabin and instantly smelled Mary Jo’s perfume. This was like being in a trance, suddenly I’m at our cabin door. I mustered the strength to enter our room and pack. When opening the door, a feeling like terror developed. Feeling faint I quickly sat down. The room that just yesterday had been filled with laughter and love was deadly quiet. I suddenly understood that love transcended life and death, a great peace washed over and instantly vanished. Mary Jo was with me, but I still started to tremble and sweat. I lay down on my back as I became slightly nauseous. I then felt something akin to panic and thought. I have to get out of here. Now. Quickly packing every item, brought back recent memories. I staggered, feeling like a dagger was in my heart. Oh my God, the perfume odor became stronger. My blood pressure had to have been through the roof. If I wasn’t still feeling the sedatives the doctor had prescribed, I probably would have fainted. Looking back, it was astounding what I did. I should have contacted the staff but was certainly not reasoning properly. This was a nightmare, and it was very real. The office set up a transoceanic call. I couldn’t tell our children over the phone, the only person I could think of was Mary Jo’s mother, Jewel. She was one of the strongest souls I’d ever met, a truly remarkable woman. She gasped and was quiet for a time that became somewhat worrisome, later explaining she almost fainted. The captain asked if I’d remembered last night’s conversation, which I couldn’t. He explained international law would have her body left off at the next port of call, Nassau. He suggested she remain on the ship and would be back in the States on Friday, eliminating red tape. I agreed. The ship made special arrangements, and I flew out of Nassau. I remember sitting in the airport watching all the couples' holding hands. Surreal. Nobody knew what I had just experienced. I was in first class flying to Pittsburgh, and the seat next to me was empty. The tragedy hit home, and I gasped. Immediately, a feeling like a warm egg being broken over my head occurred, and the same peace washed over me not lasting but a moment. I know it was Mary Jo with her head on my shoulder and folded hands, just like when we had taken off only two days ago. 

Tracy and I had an apartment in Columbus close to the Ohio State campus. Jewel wisely thought she could not tell Tracy over the phone. She contacted Shane, Tracy's cousin, and asked if he could drive to Columbus. A half hour from the apartment; Shane made a mistake and called to see if she was there. Tracy is highly intelligent and puts two and two together. Why would Shane be coming to see her? He told her over the phone and when arriving at the apartment, it was in shambles. Our beautiful daughter is completely alone and experienced the worst half hour of her life.  

Arriving home, I called the relatives on my side of the family and then Dave, he was working in the Carolinas. He’s my best friend and dropped everything to be at my side two days later. Well-meaning companions would talk in platitudes about God, and I wanted to hear none of it, the pain was too deep. Dave was the only one who made sense. He explained, "You'll go one of two ways. Either becoming mean, hateful, and bitter, making everyone around you miserable because you're dwelling in self-pity. Or you'll accept what you cannot change, find peace and come to the realization that nothing will ever happen to you as bad as this. I'm living proof that time heals all wounds, but it takes time. Believe me that eventually not much will bother you."  With Dave’s advice and the grace of God, I went the latter route. The prior year, Dave had called in February, sobbing and explaining his wife Robin had just been diagnosed with liver cancer. Months later he called on a Friday and asked if I could visit on Sunday as Robin wanted to see me. I said I would let them know on Saturday. After talking with Mary Jo, I decided it was too far to drive, and I had work to do. Mary Jo couldn't go because she had plans with her sister. Saturday afternoon I was sitting on my weight bench, and I swear I heard a voice say "Go.” I drove the three hours to their home with the radio offering the silence to think. This is the day Robin gave  “My Dream Of Heaven.” I’ve included an excerpt. My advice to anyone who is experiencing the dark night of the soul is to keep busy. Sitting around and dwelling on the circumstance only makes the pain worse.

Tuesday, Jewel had been looking over some papers and found a life insurance policy Mary Jo had taken out for twenty thousand dollars. I had no idea, pennies from Heaven. She also found a key to a safe deposit box. I went to the bank and witnessed a very strange occurrence. The key would not work. The locksmith explained he’d been doing this for seventeen years and this had never happened. After numerous attempts, he had to get a vice and literally rip the door off.  Mary Jo had always handled our finances quietly and accurately as this was nobody's business. I think she had her finger on the door. 

Wednesday, Tara and I were sitting on the couch, and she said, "Daddy, I'm scared." I replied, "All is Ok because we'll always have one another." Several years later on her wedding day she was so exuberant and happy, I said, "Honey, do you remember sitting on the couch and telling me you were scared?" "Yes." "Well, now all is Ok." Friday, Tara was to ride in a parade as she had been elected to the senior homecoming court. After exclaiming, she couldn't, I asked what her mother would want. She sat on top of the convertible's back seat with tears streaming down, I was in the front praying. In a small town, information travels fast, all knew her mother had suddenly died. People started clapping, giving our family a beautiful honor, I'll never forget that evening.

 Sunday, I stated, "Get ready, we're going to church." Tracy commented, "Dad we can't go to church." "We've been attending First Christian for years and yes we can." Our family had always sat in the front pews, this time we quietly sat in the back to not draw unneeded attention. Rod, the minister, told me after the service, "Bob, you have no idea how positively your family has affected the congregation." I quietly explained we simply needed to be there. The showing started at 1:00 after church and the funeral was scheduled for Monday. I was told this was one of the largest funerals they'd ever had, many I didn't know, as they were Mary Jo's customers. I remember standing beside her coffin with our children watching groups of people sobbing and then suddenly stop. This happened several times and I could almost see her walking around the room, placing her hands on the grieving and offering peace.

Monday, after the minister, I said a few words and read the following. These beautiful words are buried with her. The author is Joseph F. Girzone from his book, Joshua in the Holy Land. "Of late, I have come across so many hurting people, and so much pain. I know you all endure hurt and pain and struggle with difficulty understanding it. I know life must be very confusing to you. But it is not senseless. There are patterns and reasons, though you may not be able to see them. It is important for you to know that your lives are not just an accident of circumstance or the product of random forces at work in the universe. Each of you is a masterpiece of God's creation. You were made special and are precious to God. He works each day quietly, calmly, within you, weaving together the apparently disconnected strands of your life. Your youth was a preparation for your life later on. As you grew older, each moment was part of the carefully planned training that God was putting you through, each day building on another, each of you being drawn along a path different from everyone else, because each of you is unique and special to God, with a special mission to accomplish for Him in this world, and a special message to preach through your life. 

There will always be pain in life and hurt. You cannot grow without it. Pain and suffering are the dark strands weaving through the tapestry of your life, providing the shadows that give depth and dimension to the masterpiece God is fashioning within you. Athletes embrace stress and pain as they prepare their bodies for the contest. You are made strong and refined through your hardships and struggles. You are not being punished. They are the necessary ingredients of life if you are to grow in God's image. If God is to mold the human clay of which you are made into something that resembles Himself, that process cannot help but be painful. So be patient and know that your pain is not in vain, nor is it a punishment. God is too big to pick on people when, in their weakness, they fall. When you do things that are hurtful, God, like a kind father, or a tender mother, makes adjustments in your life to remind you that your actions are hurting others or yourself and prompts you to make changes. But God is never cruel. He accepts you where you are and is very patient as you turn ever so slowly back to His love. 

He weaves everything into good when you reach out to Him. Your life is really like a tapestry. You look at one side and see all the disconnected and loose ends, and say, "What a mess my life is!" God sees the finished product on the other side and sighs, "How beautiful you have become!" So don't be discouraged or lose hope. Trust your Father in Heaven. He loves you more than you can imagine. Call him ABBA. He is truly your Daddy, so tender is His love for you, He watches over your every deed, not to find fault or to judge, but because He cares. This may seem impossible, that He could be fully aware of every detail of your life, but look upon the mind of God as the sun rises in the morning. Its rays penetrate every detail of creation in a single moment. God's mind is like that sunshine, touching and penetrating all creation in a single instant.  In this way, He can guide and enlighten you with His wisdom and inspire you with His love. May His peace and blessing go with you each day and guide you in His own way, and along His own paths, and may you always know that He is near." These words are beautiful and very true.

On an astonishing side note here are the parallels between Dave and I. Robin was 43 when she passed, Mary Jo was 43. They had raised two girls, one boy, one adopted; we had raised two girls, one boy, one adopted. After dating for three months, they were married for twenty years; we had dated for three months and were married for twenty years; both were blond; the day Mary Jo died was Robin’s birthday. What are the odds of these analogies? My oldest friend went through the same ordeal.

My Birthday Gift From Heaven

This is mind-blowing. I was finishing a manuscript on my birthday in November 2023. The reason I place so many prints throughout is I want the pictures to flow with these beautiful and magnificent truths. I came upon this quite by accident and was stunned, to say the least. This is exactly how Mary Jo looked when we first married, even the way she’s holding her hands. She gave me a birthday gift from Heaven.
My Dream Of Heaven   

 “My Dream of Heaven” is a book by Rebecca Ruter Springer, originally titled “Intra Muros”. It was written in 1898 and is considered a nineteenth-century spiritual classic. The book is a vision of Heaven that was given to Springer during a time of pain and severe illness. She was unconscious for several days as she received the vision, which covers a period of years. Springer intended the book to offer comfort and hope to readers, and it has inspired generations of Christians for over 100 years. The book captures Biblical truths with emotional impressions and portrays the beauty of Heaven as an imperfect sketch of a most perfect vision. Springer’s story continues to accomplish her goal of offering hope and comfort to those searching for answers about the afterlife. The words of the author best set the stage for this beautiful treasure, which contains two missing chapters that have not appeared in print in more than 100 years. 

The manuscript was given to me over 22 years ago by my best friend's wife who had terminal liver cancer. Dave took me into their dining room where we waited for 20 minutes. Robin painfully shuffled out and sat down. She weighed 93 pounds, was only 43 and had a port implanted in her sternum. Her wrists looked like pencils and her skin color was deathly pale. However, her countenance was breathtaking and glowing. She sat down at the kitchen table and was absolutely joyful. No poor me or why is this happening. She said,“God could heal me if He wants, but I’ve got a big mouth, maybe He wants to use me from the other side.” They didn't attend a regular church but enjoyed a remarkable faith. Two months after she gave me the manuscript, Robin died. I highly recommend for all who have read it come to the same conclusion that It’s much too beautiful for the human mind to simply have made up. The small manuscript is truly Inspired and Divine. Following are some excerpts.

 Rebecca died and was carried to Heaven by her uncle who had transitioned as an officer in the Civil War. He set her down in a beautiful meadow. She said one could get lost in the perfection of a single rose and was surprised to see herself wearing a beautiful white gown which somehow shimmered. They waded into a river and the water came up to their throats. She said, “Stop! We'll drown”. The earth thoughts persisted. He looked at her with a twinkle in his eye and said, “We don't drown here.” They went down over 40 feet and talked at length surrounded by beautiful light rays and refractions, like being inside a prism of diamonds. When they came out her hair and gown were instantly dry, and she felt as if she could fly. She did, later.

          All the water in Heaven flows from the Throneroom of God and prepares the soul for the Celestial Life. She picked a fruit and said the flavor was extraordinary, beyond anything she had ever tasted. The juice squirted on her gown and instantly vanished for nothing impure exists in Heaven. Numerous streets were made of gold and surrounded by magnificent mansions constructed of textured stone, precious woods and beautiful minerals. All had breathtaking lawns and stunning terraces. Jesus said, "In my Father's House there are many mansions.” Children came into her home who were artisans, they had delicate tools and planted live roses in her marble floors. She was there quite a while, time was meaningless, when she came upon a golden lake. Rebecca said the vista was so stunning that she was barely spiritually strong enough, even in Heaven, to gaze upon the glorious beauty. There were dozens of spectacular boats driven by a technology she wasn't aware of. There is no night, just a softening of glory. They went to a massive outdoor theater and the dome roof was held up by columns of Jasper and Pearl. Softly singing angelic beings were up in the dome. Martin Luther of the Reformation strode out on stage. He talked of the effects the Lutheran Church had on Europe. All heads were bowed after he spoke, contemplating the wisdom shared. She looked up and out came Jesus. He was dressed in a golden suit and the Glory of God surrounded him. He spoke of the link between the earthly existence and Heavenly life. She said if she had known how the Saints and Angels watched over her in time, she wouldn't have worried so much. Jesus then spoke of how their beginning life in Heaven would be and the astonishing universes they would explore for all Eternity. When writing she didn't know of any earth words which could properly explain his teachings concerning the Celestial Life. We wouldn't be able to understand anyway. She saw the Throneroom of God.

 One would not be able to behold this in human form. The Power, Glory, and Love were beautiful to behold and feel, all were immense beyond thought. The last vision she saw before waking from her coma was the Celestial Sea. There were huge, wooden, sailing schooner ships adorned with all the flags of the world bringing new arrivals from Earth. Their loved ones were excitedly awaiting on shore. She said, “Oh death, where is thy victory? Where is thy sting?”  

When finishing this writing I was somewhat at a loss for words and reflected on the meanings for several days. We truly do not have the slightest comprehension of how enormous God’s Love is for us. If one lives a life of pain, sickness, despair, fear, and heartache it will be as nothing the first minute being Home. Our tiny earthly existence is a fleeting moment compared to the wonder, glory, beauty, joy, peace, and love we will all share. Forever and ever and ever. God Is, Bob